Tags
Bottom Percussion PATAX, Chris Christie's Traffic-Gate, Edward Abbey, Monty Python, Mother Nature has a sense of Humor, The Collapsing Economy, The Intelligence of Crows, Weekend Funnies for the Depressed Collapsitarian, Will Ferrell
Wow, it’s been 3 months since we’ve done one of these, and I think we need a laugh or a chuckle. Quote for the day:
“Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.” ~ Edward Abbey
Really, a great rule of thumb:
“Yet another fucking fat joke. I hope this guy never gets elected president, the insults thrown against him would be worse than his economic policies.” – brorack_brobama
Yes, the other bridge scandal. If you don’t understand, read here and here and (h/t Tom) here:
I guess it ends in “I love her NOT.”
Crows Are Way Smarter Than You Think and Incredible.
A SONG YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO WHEN YOU ARE DOWN IN LIFE
Over 10 million people have seen this video – astronomically more popular than my website:
Collapse of Industrial Civilization 
That “bottom percussion” video is really lame. I think I’m more offended by its lameness than its objectification of women and yadda.
Oh, and yeah, we should stop polluting and all that. Very bad.
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Plantin Moretus is waiting for his valium.
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What is that supposed to mean?
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You sound like the catatonic Steven Wright:
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Yeah, Wright really seems like he needs Valium.
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I agree that the”bottom percussion” video is pathetic.
You have such a great website.
Full of information, insight, and great compassion and humor.
Lose that video.
It really drops the quality of the blog.
And you do have a great blog.
Thanks.
fighting Bob
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Jesus, did you see what I said in connection to the video:
“Over 10 million people have seen this video – astronomically more popular than my website”…
Did you get the sarcasm and irony in that? 10 million + people watched that video in less than one year versus all the work I have done on this website which has created just a few hundred thousand hits. This culture is really lame, isn’t it?
Nah, I think Montey Python’s hilarious vid followed by the piece of shit “Bottom Percussion” is a great testament to where we are at in our 21st century, hi-tech, developed civilization, don’t you?
Some things come across poorly on the net, like sarcasm.
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Sex sells. Implied sex sells. Titillation sells. Innuendo sells. It’s something to do with having only half the genetic information necessary to build a complete organism in the gametes, I believe.
And mock indignation sells.
The irony was not entirely lost, Mike.
If you want the ignorant masses to look at the site you’ll have to change the name to Bums at the End of Empire, Free Pussy Downloads as the World Burns, Best Penis Enlargement for End Times or something similar.
I see the Jimmy Saville abuse tally has reached one thousand. Such a nice chap. Great entertainer and crowd-puller; protected by the establishment for decades.
As for the slap video, I hope I didn’t miss anything exciting because I got bored after a minute or so and stopped watching.
On the other hand, I’d say the Monty Python perspective is entirely appropriate because the global economic system isn’t dead at the bottom of its cage, it just looks that way because its sleeping. The world isn’t warming, it’s headed into an ice age. Polar bears are so plentiful they are becoming a pest. Times of unprecedented opulence are just over the horizon, thanks to sustainable development and technical innovation.
Anyway, ‘We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice. We just need to make that message a bit sexier in order to sell it to the masses.
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LOL. Well said. I’ll try too work in some subliminal pornographic and sex messages in future posts.
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I don’t think anyone here didn’t “get” your comment on the bottom percussion video or its juxtaposition with other videos and images. It’s just that there are *more* things to be said about it.
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I think we said ’em.
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Bottom percussion succeeded in taking my mind off the collapse of industrial civilisation. For me that’s a plus! 🙂 Would go down a treat in Brazil.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2507274/Miss-BumBum-2013-winner-Brazilian-beauty-Dai-Macedo.html Goes to show I represent the hedonistic corruption of the modern world I suppose 😦
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Good, wide, child-bearing hips and plenty of subcutaneous fat to survive long periods of undernourishment during times of extreme famine. Quite big titties too. So definitely good breeding material for normal conditions and extended drought, but might overheat in the future if anticipated temperatures are achieved.
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The industrial world is slinging Big Pole, but Mother Nature’s hips are giving out.
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Some nice one-liners from the genius comedian Steven Wright:
“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.”
“Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.”
“I intend to live forever – so far, so good.”
“Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.”
“If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”
“I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.”
“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.”
“The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.”
“Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.”
“A fool and his money are soon partying.”
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
——————-
…and some others:
“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
So I said, ‘Got any shoes you’re not using?’”
“Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.
On the back it said, ‘Wish you were here.’”
“I have two very rare photographs.
One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car.
The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.”
“My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I’m good, she’ll
give me the other one next year.”
“I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said ‘pet supplies’. So I did.
Then I went outside and saw a sign that said ‘compact cars’.”
“The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa
Claus is missing.”
“When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child….eventually.”
“One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, ‘Didn’t you
see the stop sign?’ I said, ‘Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read.’”
“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I
said, ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’”
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Russell Brand: Forget ‘Little Ejaculations’ Like Voting, We Need a ‘F*cking Bukkake’ Revolution
“‘Oh, we’ve given you recycling bins.’…. Well thanks, the planet is still fucked… In terms of climate change and necessary ecological action, we are way way beyond the stage of turning up and rattling a few placards. There needs to be a defiant stance taken against the corporations who are, for their own ends, desecrating the planet. Now the system in place with these little valves, these neat little ejaculations of apparent power of a little vote, I’m not interested in that. I want fucking Bukkake in their faces.”
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I suspect that some of the rich and comfortable used to privilege and assured social standing are beginning to wake up that they will not escape the consequences of the wrecking of our only home’s habitability. Ultimately their money will not save them.
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LOL. Your link to the Best Brazilian Ass Contest was the number one used link today.
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Yes, We’re a primitive species despite NASA, Star Trek, and the advances of Science. We have launched our higher self and idealism into the Universe with Voyager but sadly no advanced sentient species will ever read its message.
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This is really funny
85 richest people as wealthy as poorest half of the world
http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/jan/20/oxfam-85-richest-people-half-of-the-world
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Does the hotel at Davos have an Emergency Assembly Point?
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Pingback from Surviving Capitalism:
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This is quite amusing if you are into black comedy.
http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2014/01/retail-death-rattle.html
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The author is ideologically biased, but does offer one key point that cannot be refuted:
“…The media mouthpieces for the establishment gloss over the fact average gasoline prices in 2013 were the second highest in history. The highest average price was in 2012 and the 3rd highest average price was in 2011. These prices are 150% higher than prices in the early 2000′s. This might not matter to the likes of Jamie Dimon and Jon Corzine, but for a middle class family with two parents working and making 7.5% less than they made in 2000, it has a dramatic impact on discretionary income. The fact oil prices have risen from $25 per barrel in 2003 to $100 per barrel today has not only impacted gas prices, but utility costs, food costs, and the price of any product that needs to be transported to your local Wally World…”
A couple of the commenters explain the author’s ideological bent:
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ulvfugl: Those uber-wealthy people are insane. They don’t even realize that their faux “wealth” is rendering the rest of the planet worthless – which means their “fabulous fortunes” are going to be worth nothing because there won’t be anything they can buy that will save their hides when it’s impossible to grow food, breathe the air, stay outdoors anywhere on the planet without succumbing to lethal radiation, or to escape the heat when the grid fails!
Brilliant!
Kevin: what’s up with the earthquake down there? I hope it didn’t affect you.
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Hi Tom,
These were known as The Shaky Isles.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaky_Isles
Minor earth movements are quite normal. Occasionally there are quite big movements. Yesterday’s was 6.2 but was fairly deep, and was centred 300km away. Unfixed items in my house rattled and swayed for a while, but there was no damage around here. I have heard of no significant damage near the epicentre.
Following the big loss of life in Napier-Hastings in 1931 due to buildings collapsing, construction methods in NZ were changed to make building ‘earthquake proof’. interestingly, there are many historic buildings which are considered to be at risk,
http://www.taranakicathedral.org.nz/
Methinks the economic tsunami will demolish the economy before any serious attempts are made to strengthen such buildings. Anyway, St Mary’s is the oldest of its kind in NZ, I believe, and it hasn’t fallen down yet, despite 150 years of shaking.
There is an amusing story concerning the old Post Office Tower, which was deemed to be an earthquake risk. I wasn’t here at the time but I believe it took three days to knock the ‘at risk’ tower down. A new tower was built to commemorate the resistance to destruction of the old one.
http://www.visitnewplymouth.co.nz/Discover/Thingstoseeanddo/ClockTower.aspx
Isn’t that the game? Knock something down; build something in its place. Create work. Burn fossil fuels. Burn the planet.
By the way, two districts that have stood out in the GDP statistics have been New Plymouth and Christchurch. And Christchurch has been ‘doing well’ as a consequence of the rebuilding that followed the earthquake. Just shows what a screwed up, crazy system we have. More earthquakes = GDP growth.
.
,
.
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back to the climate Just had a heatwave: 9 days of over 100 F, with a domestic maximum of 42.9 C/109.2 F. Fortunately, with a cooling breeze at night. Meanwhile, the Quiet Sun; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25743806
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AD. Where are you?
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It always good to take a break from the helter skelter & ..
Hope everyone enjoyed their present,today.
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Oh, you want a break? Try this:
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http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-01-20/climate-proofing-of-farms-seen-too-slow-as-industry-faces-havoc.html
Climate Proofing of Farms Seen Too Slow as Industry Faces Havoc
[as if such a thing is even possible]
Climate change will play havoc with farming, and policy makers and researchers aren’t fully aware of the significance on food supply, according to the World Bank.
Earth will warm by 2 degrees Celsius (3.6 degrees Fahrenheit) “in your lifetime,” Rachel Kyte, the World Bank’s vice-president for climate change, said at a meeting of agriculture ministers in Berlin over the weekend. That will make farming untenable in some areas, she said.
Extreme weather from China’s coldest winter in at least half a century in 2010 to a July hailstorm in Reutlingen, Germany, already started to affect food prices. In the past three years, orange juice, corn, wheat, soybean meal and sugar were five of the top eight most volatile commodities, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Natural gas was first.
“Significant damage and destruction is already happening,” Kyte said. “It isn’t a benign and slightly warmer world. It will be a volatile warming of the planet, with unpredictable impact.”
Adapting agriculture to withstand a world with a changed climate and depleting resources isn’t happening fast enough, according to Achim Steiner, the director general of the UN’s Environment Programme.
Heat Waves
The world risks “cataclysmic changes” caused by extreme heat waves, rising sea levels and depleted food stocks, as average temperatures are headed for a 4 degree Celsius jump by 2100, the World Bank reported in November 2012.
“It’s all going to take political leadership,” said Gordon Conway, professor of international development at Imperial Colleage London. “We need more ministers of agriculture with self confidence who will stand up and say what they need, who will speak to their president or prime minster.”
Long-term climate change may have “potentially catastrophic” effects on food production in the period from 2050 to 2100, the UN’s Food & Agricuture Organization has said.
[there’s lots more, but this last statement just shows how optimistic they are, despite mounting evidence to the contrary, while reliance on politicians to step up and do something is completely unfounded at this point]
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Similar to this older article from Jan. 2013, it ends by indicating, oh we still have plenty of time . . .
http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/jan/13/global-food-crisis-heatwaves-crops
[ends with]
“But cutting emissions buys you time for adaptation [to climate change’s impacts],” said Arnell. “You can buy five to 10 years [delay in impacts] in the 2030s, and several decade from 2050s. It is quite an optimistic study as it shows that climate policies can have a big effect in reducing the impacts on people.”
Ed Davey, the UK’s secretary of state for energy and climate change, said: “We can avoid many of the worst impacts of climate change if we work hard together to keep global emissions down. This research helps us quantify the benefits of limiting temperature rise to 2C and underlines why it’s vital we stick with the UN climate change negotiations and secure a global legally binding deal by 2015.”
[pretty laughable stuff, eh?]
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Civilization, it grows by the abundance it can derive from the ecosystem through a positive feedback dynamic in which specialization provides ever more effective tools for plundering the planet. More plunder, more specialization, more complexity, better tools, more plunder, more specialization, more complexity……………………until the end. Right now, corporations and individuals are struggling to create tools even more efficient at slicing through the ecosystem’s flesh. Eventually the new complexities have nothing to work upon, its been used up, and collapse ensues as per Tainter’s description. The snow plow that just now noisily passed my home, with its new, improved salt solution will soon be a rusting relic, a paleontological wonder, there will be no need, let alone energy and resources available to support such contrivances to keep the wheels of industry turning at their consumptive tasks.
Veni, vidi, vici…………….and then collapse. When the cancer in its complex manifestation destroys the system from which it arose, it too shall be destroyed. An unprecedented tragicomedy and we’re all on stage.
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http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/01/17/1270475/–Freedom-to-socialize-the-losses-chemical-company-declares-bankruptcy?detail=email
“Freedom” to socialize the losses: chemical company declares bankruptcy
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Freedom Industries, the company that fouled thousands of West Virginians’ water with a chemical leak last week, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy today.
This company lacks the assets to clean up their own messes. So have filed for bankruptcy.
A real winner here.
To all this can be added the fact that Freedom Industries was cofounded by an individual named Carl Lemley Kennedy II. As the Charleston Gazette has reported, Kennedy filed for personal bankruptcy in 2005 after he was hit with federal charges of tax evasion and failure to remit employee withholding taxes. He is reported to have admitted to diverting more than $1 million that should have gone to the Internal Revenue Service.
Kennedy’s involvement in Freedom Industries, the Gazette notes, does not seem to have been affected by the fact that he had once pleaded guilty to selling cocaine in connection with a scandal that involved the mayor of Charleston. The paper quotes the current mayor, who is said to have known Kennedy since the 1980s, as an “edgy guy.”
Another remarkable aspect of the story reported by the Gazette is that Freedom Industries was struggling in 2009, and its Elk River facility was able to go on functioning only after the Army Corps of Engineers dredged that portion of the river using federal stimulus funds.
To summarize: a tax evader and drug dealer helped to establish a largely unregulated chemical company that benefitted from the federal stimulus but apparently did little in the way of preventive maintenance and set the stage for large-scale drinking water contamination.
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By anyone’s best estimates, how long do you suppose lethal radiation would be in the atmosphere after worldwide catastrophic meltdown of nuclear power plants?
Hundreds of nuclear meltdowns would likely result in the extinction of humanity, in part because it would drastically accelerate climate change. I just couldn’t help wondering if one couldn’t make “fresh” or “new” agricultural land available by blowing up the side of a mountain and then planting crops on top of the “freshly blown up and exposed dirt” to feed oneself, with the radiation-saturated dirt many feet below, where most agricultural plants roots couldn’t reach.
Hey drastic times call for drastic measures. Could something like that theoretically work, or would the atmosphere and resulting rain be too saturated with radiation to grow anything?
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The good thing about radioactive isotopes is that most of them are rather heavy compared to N2 and O2, and tend to fall out of the atmosphere fairly quickly. However, I think you will be worrying about finding food and keeping warm/cool long before dozens of nuclear reactors around the world meltdown.
Soil is not blown-up mountains. Soil is formed by the action of erosive forces which break rocks into miniscule fragments over thousands of years and the action of living organisms over many decades to form a complex mixture of miniscule rock fragments and partially decayed organic matter, plus the right balance of living organisms.
Technology is at the heart of the problem. Technological solutions always have unintended consequences and can never provide solutions to problems created by technological solutions.
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This would be hilarious if it were not so sick.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/no-poor-countries-by-2035-bill-gates-annual-letter-says-extreme-poverty-and-child-mortality-could-be-virtually-wiped-out-in-next-two-decades-9075149.html
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Hahahaaaaaaaaaa Kevin, that is priceless! The real reason is because they’re going to see to it that the bottom half is eliminated through austerity! Problem solved!
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